I tried to fix stick drift on my PS5 controller and it went very poorly

• I immediately began operations (graphic content ahead)
• I asked the boss of the household for tips
• It was time to turn towards the Almighty
• It was hammer time
• The deed was finally done

I made the switch from XBox to PlayStation a little over two years ago. In the same box as my PS5 came this excellent little DualSense controller. I loved it from the second I first laid my hands on it, especially after using solely XBox controllers since the original one. Ever since then, it has been smooth sailing…until last week.

I was doing what almost every gamer has been for the last week — playing Ghost of Yotei — when I got up to get a snack. However, I had forgotten to pause the game before I stood up, and I noticed that our main character, Atsu, was strafing slowly to the left without anyone being within 10 feet of the controller. I immediately got flashbacks to my old XBox days of dealing with stick drift, then remembered that I had become pretty good at fixing the issue. I could take any Xbox controller apart with my eyes shut. Why not try it on a DualSense? Well, dear reader, assuming you glanced at the title of this story, you know that it didn’t really end all that well, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t have fun trying.

I immediately began operations (graphic content ahead)

Like a gamer surgeon in Grey’s Anatomy who missed auditions

Through a little help from a YouTube tutorial and an extensive tool box that I keep in the garage, I had the controller apart in just a few minutes. At this point during the surgery, I had no worries. This was going to be simple. Just pop some plastic off, remove a few screws, take out the battery, unplug some tabs on the board, clean the sticks and use some compressed air, and life would be grand. And I accomplished all of those things. I was even able to get the controller completely back together again — huzzah!

In my sheer excitement, I fired up the PlayStation. The button still worked, which of course gave me the confidence of MacGyver and then some. I fired up Ghost of Yotei again, and wouldn’t you know it, Atsu was still strafing. My plan had been foiled, at least on the first try. However, after repeating the process and experiencing the same issue, I knew that more drastic measures needed to be taken. I would not be bested by this enemy of plastic and wireless connectivity.

I asked the boss of the household for tips

Her response was less than helpful

Now I’m not a stupid man. Whenever I have an important question that needs to be answered, there’s only one place I go — to my cat. Think about it. She’s worked out one of the best lifestyles on the planet. She doesn’t need to worry about algorithms or analytics. She has no bills of her own to pay. She gets free (to her) food all the time. This little lady evidently has life figured out. However, her help was suboptimal in this instance.

All Kat Benatar (yes, that’s her legal name) did was immediately start trying to sniff out the problem. As in, she literally started sniffing the controller. Then, she laid her paw on the touchpad. I assumed she was using her otherworldly powers to sense the issue, which was only logical. She looked up at me with her all-knowing eyes, took one long blink, then shifted away from the controller. It was almost as if she said, “You’re on your own here, pal.” On to the next plan it was, then.

It was time to turn towards the Almighty

With options running low on this planet, I tried looking up

If Kat Benatar couldn’t figure out my issue, I thought that surely the beings not of this earth with which she communicates would. That’s when I went outside, lifted my controller up to the sky and asked anyone out there in the universe with knowledge of DualSense controllers to please lay their hand upon my poor controller.

We’ve been through thick and thin, this controller and me. From Malevelon Creek to both Ghost of Tsushima and now most of Yotei, all the way to the re-launch of the NCAA Football series, this little controller and I have weathered each boss fight, won countless championships, and brought managed democracy to more than our fair share of the galaxy. It was at this moment I got a little choked up, but something changed in the air at that same time. For whatever reason, I had a feeling of hope. I knew deep in my psyche that now, my stick drift would finally be gone. Then I turned on Ghost of Yotei one more time, and Atsu was still strafing…I had no more options. I was defeated. Or was I?

It was hammer time

No, not the MC kind

Former TopGear presenter Jeremy Clarkson taught me a lot growing up, even if it was only vicariously through the television. High up on the list of things he taught me is the fact that many things in life can, indeed, be fixed by a hammer. Maybe not fixed in the sense that they can work properly again, but at least fixed in the sense that it makes the user of said hammer feel much better about where they’re at in the process of repair. The results…well…they followed.

The deed was finally done

All was quiet on the gaming front, and an Amazon order was made

Like I was Atsu in a raging room, I took my frustrations out on the thing that had now completely ruined my afternoon. All the time wasted that could have been spent finding Altars of Reflection or battling Ronin immediately came to the forefront of my mind as I slammed the hammer down directly into the touchpad. The battle was over. The deed was done. My wife was looking at me like I had finally lost it. Then, I made an Amazon order, and decided that Atsu’s quest for revenge would have to resume another day.

DualSense controllers most definitely can get stick drift. Go ahead and ask me how I know.